


Square One

by rainy_fangirl



Series: Because You'd Hate To See Her Cry [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: "It's called read the manga", Canonical Character Death, F/F, Hallucinations, Mental Instability, repost from my september prompt challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 11:59:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainy_fangirl/pseuds/rainy_fangirl
Summary: Start at the beginning, but Historia always seems to find her waiting at the end, for some girl; Ymir, or something.





	Square One

_ “Do you trust me?” _

The words echoed in Historia’s mind, pinging off like bullets, in a voice not her own. She wished she’d said yes, pushed away the pretty pretenses of the deceased Krista Lenz and followed. That’s what marriage was, wasn’t it? Being willingly to follow your wife wherever she went. Devotion, faith. Historia crossed those off the list of promises she’d made. Promises she’d broken. 

The world was fucked, Paradis was fucked without allies, too, she knew that. Historia rolled the ring around in her hand. It was simple, nothing of any value whatsoever. Except to her. It was composed of stones she’d liked, little things she hadn’t gone out of the way to find them, but it was hard to look past the little, beautiful things in a world so bad. The rest of the girls had laughed, looking at the small pile of rocks on her side of the table. Ymir had just smirked. The next morning, she’d woken to a few more stones than she’d counted the night before.  And so their love affair began. Historia had always told Reiner to start at the beginning, it was the easiest place. Who knew a couple hard blows to the head and nineteen years of hard trauma could make her lose her grip. Starting with support, lying in patches of sun during their breaks, talking about everything and nothing. Two girls falling in love, nothing too perfect, but the world had bigger fish to fry. It wasn’t a problem anymore. She toyed with the tiara resting atop her blonde head. 

Ymir had kissed her cheek a couple times, but it was nothing more than friendship, Historia didn’t want to get her hopes up. That was all thrown to shit when the other girl had kissed her first. On the lips, hard. Graduation night, Sasha had stolen Levi’s alcohol (something she would pay for later). It seemed to be one of those rare moments of clarity, a bright spot in her memory. She was ever grateful, a first kiss wouldn’t be something she’d want to forget. Ymir had tasted like whiskey and everything Historia needed. Reiner had told her that she’d thought it was a mistake in the morning, but now, she couldn’t believe him. The kissing had gotten more frequent, and public, and there had been things more than kissing too, and Historia didn’t think she’d minded. Not only Reiner, multiple people had told her that they had been in love. Soulmates, even. She could barely remember it. The girl’s face haunted her dreams, Ymir was her name. She thought. Historia wasn’t sure, but she’d spent her life in the unknown, born in the suffocating dark that allowed for locked lips and disappearances to purposely go unsolved. She’d accepted it. She, Historia Reiss was a little shaky on her feet. Nothing more, nothing less, it was all she could handle. Levi knew, he had dealt with it. She was only a figurehead after all. Bribed into retaking what was rightfully her’s. For Ymir’s safety. For the sake of a girl Historia barely knew. It was all too kind. Historia was tired of Krista’s past perfection. 

“Do you trust me?” She was back at square one, lucid, clear. The girl in front of her was leaking blood onto her floor. Ymir was holding the same knife as always. That was dripping blood too, she felt the bile rise in the back of her throat. 

“Y-you promised me…” She was at a loss for words, unsurprising; these days, everything she did was scripted. “You’d come back.”

“Not for you.” The brunette sighed, approaching her, taking Historia’s face in her hands, blood seeping into her her skin. “I’d come back for Paradis. To do my job, avenge you all.”

Their lips weren’t touching, but the blood slipping down, over her lips, it felt like it. Who knew bloodshed felt so much like romance. 

“You’re right.” Historia’s voice was soft, forgiving, melancholy. “I’m sorry. I can’t trust you.” Hours later, she was still tracing the outlines of where girl had been, where she would be. Almost familiar.  Historia wasn’t sure.


End file.
